JOHN (as he shows Stefano a chart): "I want you
to mark on this chart for the pilot the location of where we are
going."
Stefano quickly pinpoints the location on the chart.
JOHN, looking at the place Stefano has marked: "My God, that's an
uncharted jungle!" (1997)
JOHN: "Why did you lock us in that room, to
kill us?"
STEFANO: "I did it for your protection. Despite the fact the we are
inside a fortress with very high walls, outside the natives are
growing restless." (1997)
(After John, Kristen, Hope and Stefano have
headed for the jungle)
ABE: "Why do you think Kristen is missing?"
ROMAN: "Because I live with her and I haven't seen her in a while"
(1997)
(Stefano sends Hope and Kristen to separate
rooms to keep them from fighting about why John 'died', then he talks
to his assistant.)
ASSISTANT: Stefano, how will we make get the cure without the vital
ingredient?
STEFANO: SHUT UP! You are as bad as the women! Let me think!
(1997)
(When John's foot gets caught between a rock
and a hard place, Hope uses cold cream to redefine beauty "aid")
JOHN: You know, you amaze me. I didn't think that would work.
HOPE: Credit vanity.(1997)
STEFANO (to Kristen, who wants to follow John into the jungle): ""It will take more than a compass, sweetheart, to bring you and John back together!" (1997)
(Hope brings John's compass to him so he won't
get hopelessly lost trying to find Roman's cure)
JOHN: You bring new meaning to the phrase "Hope has arrived!"
JACK: If I only had that damn climbing gear!! (When he was trying to climb up the mountain to get to the cabin where Travis was holding Jenn.)
(Lucille leaves Billie alone at Ms.
Faversham's, giving her a chance to plant a listening device)
LUCILLE: I won't be long. There is something very important I must
take care of.
BILLIE: Well, you picked a fine time to leave me,
Lucille.....
(Billie realizes that she could use Lucile, Ms.
Faversham's servant, against Hope)
BILLIE: "That maid and I have one powerful thing in common. We both
hate little Miss Hope-less."
PETER
(to Jenn): Who are you going to believe-your husband or a psycho
wearing a tablecloth on her head? (1996)
SUSAN: John, I was wondering something. I know that Dr. Marlena Evans
almost married Roman Brady. Does that mean tyou and her aren't going
to get together?
JOHN: Well, Susan. That's kind of a complicated situation, but yeah,
we're going to be together.
SUSAN: I was just wondering. 'cause if you couldn't be with Dr.
Marlena Evans, I was wondering, were you going back with Kristen.
JOHN: No, that will never happen, and you know better than anyone
that that Kristen is mean, mean, mean.
MARCUS (to Carly, referring to Bo, just after he cut his hair): So where's the guy with the ever-changing haircut anyway? (1991)
VICTOR (on the phone): I want you to dig up everything you can on Vivian Alamain...Of course, there's stuff. She buried someone alive once! (1996)
JOHN: Marlena's love for me exposed her to the devil himself
JOHN: She still loves me? Am I that blind? (3/97)
JOHN: Stefano kidnapped Marlena
VIVIAN: Not again! (1996)
AUSTIN: ...And we'll live happily ever
after.
CARRIE: So happily, that even Sami won't be able to ruin it.
(1996)
HOPE (to Bo): First Victor, then Marlena. Now Sami is acting like a little Vivian. (1996)
(Carly has just been buried. Everyone is
gathered at the Alamain mansion in her memory. Vivian takes out her
walkie-talkie with which she speaks to Carly.)
VIVIAN: Paradise to Hell, come in please. (1993)
JOHN: Exactly what is your relationship with my
aunt?
IVAN: Uh, um, it's really complex. Uh, it's uh . . .
JOHN: Never mind. I don't think I want to know.
IVAN: Well, John, I don't mind telling you! (3/97)
(Roman/John knocks on the door of the bride's
room as Marlena and friends prepare for her 1986 wedding)
ALICE: Oh, I'll take care of this...
(the women in the room make various "uh-oh" comments)
ALICE (she opens the door to talk to him): Roman, do you like where
your nose is?
ROMAN: Oh, Ms. Horton, sorry, I didn't know you were in there
ALICE: Obviously! (and she closes the door)
(the women in the room clap and cheer)
MARLENA: Thank you, Alice
ALICE: It was my pleasure! (August 22, 1986)
GINGER (on meeting Mickey and Julie): Now wait a minute, let me get
this straight, you are uncle and niece?
MICKEY: That's right, my sister Addie was Julie's mother...
GINGER: Who ended up marrying Julie's third husband. Which makes you
your own stepmother!
JULIE: Darling, you had to be there.
MICKEY: I guess you could say our family's really been around the
block more than once.
JULIE: I suppose, and yet we look so normal
MICKEY: Mom and Dad do anyway. I wish I knew their secret.
(1991)
JULIE (when Marlena got teary at Julie's party): Now don't you cry. If you cry we're both going to look like grandmas in Florida. (1991)
(Sami runs into Mike on her way to his
office)
MIKE: You're fired.
SAMI: What did I do?
MIKE: Lately?
LAWRENCE (to Jennifer after her poolside
excursion at his Villa with Jack): "I'd stay away from swimming
pools. It is the leading cause of household accidents, you know."
(Of course, we didn't know at the time that Lawrence supposedly
accidentaly killed his brother in a swimming pool!)
(Laura and Mike are talking about how she is a
prime suspect in the investigation of Kristen's death)
LAURA: It's not my fault that the whole world is better off without
her.
MIKE: Mom, that kind of talk won't help your case.
CALLIOPE (to Anna): The day Tony leaves you will be the day Bo gets a haircut. (1985)
JULIE: "Ever notice that that woman on
"America's Funniest People" kinda looks like Calliope?" (1991)
**Of course Arleen Sorkin (Calliope) was the co-host of
AFP.
(I'm not exactly sure who said this, but it was probably either Jack or John): Stefano and Peter are both dead. And I'm willing to bet they're not any place with wings.
BILLIE: "How in the world could you let Alice
Horton overpower you?"
EARL: "That old lady is pretty spunky, let me tell you."
The original Salem comedienne: Calliope
CALLIOPE:
Roses are Red,
Butterflies are hard to catch,
If I could do it all over again,
I would have gone for Patch.
(Calliope is handing out flyers to promote the
Beat Bar at Shenanigans. She comes across a cranky man sitting at a
table.)
CALLIOPE: Hello, sir! Are you going to come and dig it at our Beat
Bar, dig it?
Man: (crankily) Why don't you go dig yourself a hole and crawl into
it?
CALLIOPE: You know, it's people like you that make establishments
like this have to provide toilet seat covers. In your case, your seat
cover would be square!
ROMAN/JOHN (to Diana in Peru): I'm not leaving her 'til you tell me what you're doing in this lizard pit. (1988)
(Roman
and Justin arrive at the Peru hotel where Diana and Adrienne are.
Diana is there to pay off 10 million to her mother's kidnappers to
get her back. Justin and Roman argue about strategy.)
JUSTIN: If Adrienne's in trouble, I want to be there!
ROMAN: Look, if the girls are in jeopardy, the last thing I want to
do is play Hardy Boys!
(Roman
and Justin are checking in at the hotel and neither of them can
understand what the clerk is saying.)
ROMAN: (grumbling) I think I liked Greece better
SERENA: I can't move my legs to walk
(Roman/John picks her up)
SERENA: What are you doing?
ROMAN/JOHN: Just relax and enjoy the ride. (1988)
HOPE: Why did you ask Kiriakis for a job?
BO: I can't make shopping a career, like you! (1986)
(At Marlena's penthouse)
MARLENA: (Laughing)
ROMAN: What is all this?
AUSTIN: Well...UH....it's a tree
ROMAN: That's....UH....very good Austin (Christmas 1997)
(Vivian is hosting a dinner party. Abe and
Roman are wondering how the guests were selected)
ABE: "Why would Vivian invite Stefano?"
ROMAN: "Partner, I'm still trying to figure out why Vivian invited
me!"
JACK (giving a drink to Jenn): Here's a white wine for you Jenn. And what would you like Victor, type A or type O? (1993)
(Moving men are moving out the tables and
chairs out of the Beat Bar because the Beat Bar has no liquor
license. Ethan and Calliope arrive and are confused as to what is
going on. Calliope throws a fit and asks the moving men what they are
doing. One of them calls her dollface. Calliope grows
frustrated.)
CALLIOPE: Dollface? Dollface? Do I look like a dollface? (To
Ethan)
ETHAN: (flustered) Uh, do you mean one of them Cabbage Patch
doll faces or one of them Barbie-type doll faces?
(Diana is growing frustrated with Jack at the
Spectator. They get into a tiff after Jack informs Diana that they
are about to have a meeting with advertisers. Kayla is there as
well.)
DIANA: I am still head of the advertising department and I will let
you know when we have meetings. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an
appointment.
JACK: With Kayla? I've already told her that we're not going to waste
any more newsprint just because some sappy kid gets a pimple!
(1989)
(Nicole
makes an excuse for hanging up the phone on Lucas. She says that she
came out of the shower and dropped her towel)
Lucas: "Well, I wish I'd been there to see you in your towel - or out
of it."
CARRIE (calls to her fiancee): Austin, let me
know when you're ready and I'll start the waffles.
AUSTIN (coming out of the bathroom with his face full of shaving
cream): Ready!
CARRIE (laughing, as he kisses her): Austin, don't! I'd rather have
whipped cream on my waffles than shaving cream.
KAYLA: Don't patronize me
STEVE: I don't even know what the word means! (1986)
(The Emergency center is busy, and Kayla is the
only one there. Patch comes in and offers to help, so while she helps
a patient, he handles the waiting room, full of three or four cranky
people. A man comes in.)
MAN: I'm sick! I need something!
PATCH: Woooooo, dude, it looks like you need a fashion
consultant!!!
(Later, another guy has come in with a swollen
jaw, and Patch is not making any progress with trying to entertain
them. This guy grows impatient.)
MAN: We want the nurse!!!!!
PATCH: Oh? I'll let you in on a little secret, buddy, SO DO I, but we
all have to wait our turn.
KAYLA: I don't understand you! When you're with
Hope, you turn into a gentle and kind person, A HUMAN. Then when
you're with me, you turn into this tough macho guy who doesn't care
about anything! So, which is it? Which guy ARE YOU?|
STEVE: I think it's both, baby. As a matter of fact, I think I'm a
chameleon. Wanna heat me up and watch me change colors?
(Patch rescues Max from drowning in the river,
and along with Frankie, brings him to Kayla at the Emergency Center.
Kayla says she'll fix his cut.)
STEVE: Yeah! She's good at fixing people up!
FRANKIE: Yeah? What's she done for you?
STEVE: (With a smirk on his face) Not as much as I'd like her
to!
(After Werner stabs Steve, trying to locate the
emeralds, Kayla finds him and brings him back to his place. She grows
frustrated.)
KAYLA: Why do things like this keep happening to you? It seems every
time I see you, I have to wrap a bandage around some part of your
body!
STEVE: Wooooo...there are parts you haven't even gotten to yet!
(laughs) (1986)
(After Marlena's memorial service, Steve takes
Kayla back to her loft. They kiss and Kayla wants more, but Steve is
afraid and says he can't stay and he has to go. Kayla follows him to
the door.)
STEVE: I can't stay, baby.
KAYLA: Why not? You stay with other women!
STEVE: You're not "other women", sweetness. There's a difference with
the other women. I can love them and leave them. But, if I love you,
I don't think I'd be able to leave.
(Hope
comes looking for Bo down at the docks, since he works there. Steve
is the foreman and comes up behind her)
HOPE: Do you know where Bo is?
STEVE: (putting a finger up to his mouth, sarcastically) Well, gee.
He didn't leave me a note on the fridge. (1986)
(Outside
of Steve's apartment underneath Shenanigan's, Kayla sees Steve, who
is playing his harmonica. She says something to him and he responds
sarcastically)
KAYLA: You know, you have a cruel and saracastic mouth.
STEVE: (flirtatiously) You don't hear me making comments about YOUR
mouth. (1986)
(Before
the remarriage of Roman and Marlena, Kayla makes a stop at the
Emergency Center with her dress, among other things. Seems she is
having car problems and is feeling a bit stressed. Patch comes along
and senses that. He wants to help.)
STEVE: (sarcastically) Come on, Sweetness, are you sure there's
nothing I can do to help?
KAYLA: Well, OK. Do you know anything about dead batteries?
STEVE: (with a smirk on his face) I know how to jump them.
KAYLA: (innocently) Then, go jump mine! (1986)
(Bo
and Shane have it planned that Britta is going to get the goods on
Victor so they can once and for all put him away. To keep Steve from
messing it up, they've kidnapped him and brought him to the loft, not
telling him what's going on. When they finally do, Bo leaves.)
BO: Will you be OK with Patch here?
HOPE: I can handle it.
STEVE: Yeah, Hope can handle me ANYTIME. (laughing) (1986)
(Hope confronts Steve at Shenanigans, after
only knowing him for a couple days. Steve obviously thinks Hope is
pretty hot. She wants to talk about what happened in Stockholm and
what happened with Steve and Bo.)
STEVE: Well, if it isn't the sexiest cop in Salem! You know that
outfit is a real-turn on. Do you have your handcuffs, too?
HOPE: I have them, Patch, but I don't want to use them. Just tell me
what happened with you and Bo.
STEVE: Wow, with that outfit and the handcuffs, we could have
ourselves a real good time! (1985)
Franco was tells Jill that she has to leave town, but she makes Franco promise to take her cat back to her mother's. Franco says, "Yes Jill, I promise I will take your little kitty cat back to your mother's." (1996)
Vivian is standing at the door and John says to her that he's too tired to invite her in. Vivian pushes her way in to the house and begins to talk about Kristen's baby, and leans over to touch her stomach. Kristen lets out a big shriek and John says to Vivian something like "Vivian, how dare you grope Kristen like that. Even she won't let me touch her stomach. She's been so sensitive since the baby almost miscarried." And Vivian replies "And don't you find that a little peculiar."
Just after Kate was "killed" in the plane crash, Ivan took some coffee to Vivian's room. It was in the same silver coffee pot the she had placed the sleeping pills in. She said something like, "Ivan, get that away from me! That's like showing Lady Macbeth the bloody knife!"
During
the Salem High graduation in 2002, there is a very humorous scene
when Shawn goes up to the stage to receive his diploma. Hope, in the
audience, gets out her camcorder and begins to laugh as she is
"filming" Shawn on the stage. Bo looks up and gives Hope a disgusted
look - she has forgotten to take the lens cap off!
Duh!
Roman to Bo and Hope: "Until J.T. is found, he is still missing" (May 23, 2001)
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